No Drunks, Dirtbags or Dweebs: A Guy’s Guide to Choosing Your Groomsmen

One of the thirty-seven million decisions you’ll be asked to make during the wedding planning process is who’d you like to have stand up for you during the ceremony – in other words, your best man and groomsmen. We talk about the 4 essential qualities of a best man in this post.

After you’ve gotten clear on that front, it’s time to concentrate on your groomsmen. While back in the day, groomsmen had a fairly important role to play (they were expected to join the best man in defending your interest if everything at the wedding suddenly took a dramatic turn for the worse) in today’s gentler world, the duties of the groomsmen have shrunk to little more than looking good in a suit, escorting bridesmaids down the aisle and patiently smiling while the photographer tries to arrange everyone ‘for just one more’ shot.

That being said, you want to be sure that the gentlemen you invite to stand up for you at the wedding add to, rather than detract from, the event. Let’s be real: some of our friends, while being great buds, aren’t exactly the type of people you want to have mingling with the folks who are going to be your in-laws.

There are 3 categories of fellows who, through their behavior or personality traits, exclude themselves right out of the ‘potential groomsman’ category.

Those categories are:

The Drunks
If your college drinking buddy never really stopped doing kegstands, think twice about choosing them as a groomsman – especially if you’re planning on having an open bar at the ceremony. It’s not unusual for people to drink more than they normally do when celebrating a wedding – and if your bud normally has a case or two of beer just to get the party started, that can be a problem.

The Dirtbags
Any friends who are sketchy enough that you’d think twice about leaving them alone with any female doesn’t need to be part of your wedding party. Ditto for the guys who can’t resist making jokes full of sexual innuendo and the ones who have a hard time keeping their hands to themselves.

The Dweebs
Sheldon Cooper may have made science nerds cool again, but let’s be real: not all geeks are Sheldon. Talk to all of your potential groomsmen about their participation in the wedding on a theoretical level before you ask them to commit to standing up for you. Anyone who’s going to spend the entire ceremony complaining that they’d rather be counting quarks is not good groomsman material!